was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
