thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Randomize
