Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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