Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize