It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
