i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
