I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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