My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
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