I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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