And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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