A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
