College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I love having hate sex.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
