i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
