Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
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you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
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My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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