One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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