it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Randomize
