Me. At least after what I've been through.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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