I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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