Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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