Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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