Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
