Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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