Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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