Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
