Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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