id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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