I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
These tits shall not be calmed
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
