I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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