i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
