Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
