The maid of honor just puked.
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
