His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
