i just had sex bonerless
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
