i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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