I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You pole danced in your parka.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Randomize
