I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
