hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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