I can tuck mytits in my pants
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
