guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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