I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
