This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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