You just made me feel so damn special
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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