You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
