Do you still have your period?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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