There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize