she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize