i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Randomize
