i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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