Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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