I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
