Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
