we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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