theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
