I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
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and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
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Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
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