I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
