Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
