I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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