all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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