tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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