Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
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i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
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We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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