So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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